I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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