She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
