No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
