please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
