I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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