I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
