I faked an abortion last night.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
