Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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