But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
