Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
is it fun? or sober?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
