i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
