Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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