All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm bleeding and have questions
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