I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
