Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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