He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
