They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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