I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
