the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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