we have officially lost it.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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