I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
wow bdsm is so cute
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