Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
