I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
