Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
