Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
