I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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