This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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