Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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