"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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