Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
