he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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