I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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