it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
