Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
