I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
