therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
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