And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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