I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
When are your genitals available?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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