Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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