hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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