At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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