just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
