Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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