four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
