Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
