her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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