Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
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