I can tuck mytits in my pants
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
