You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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