just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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