Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
