we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
