there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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