Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Randomize
