eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
A bitchslap is in order.
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