Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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